I realized that the point of this blog is suppose to be about recovering from C-PTSD, and me being a FRIENDLY neighborhood C-PTSD survivor. But I think I’ve been fixating on the C-PTSD part, and have not addressed neither the “friendly” nor the “survivor” part of this blog.
So to compensate my readers, and myself! I decided to share some of the things that kept me going this week.
Food
I successfully baked my very first banana cake! It was pretty good. I used the Chocolate Covered Katie recipe, it was incredibly delicious. Instead of using one cup of agave, I used only a table spoon and two bananas. I have never been a fan of sickly sweet food, partially because I grew up in China and dessert shops often carried semi-sweet, or even bitter-sweet desserts! I was also never been able to find a whole bunch of sweet snacks around my house, since sweets are addicting, I am glad I was never fully on the sweets train!
Academics and Work
I was able to read for a whole bunch of (FIVE ON TOP OF AN EXTERNSHIP YICKS) law school classes on time, even though that meant I had less than 2 hours to relax every day from Monday to Wednesday. I was able to stay attentive in class for my first week of the law school semester and I was able to take really good notes. I just started my new court house externship, and I have been losing it! I love my team, and after working with horrible abusive people for all of last semester, where one of the law clerks yelled at me and made a ton of body-shaming comments and consistently put me down, I am finaly at a place where I feel like people want me to grow, and are kind enough to let me fail and provide constructive, instead of destructive, criticism. I also enjoyed my assignment in juvenielle law and was able to quickly complete them and receive positive feedback.
Emotional Distance in Law School
I was also able to wear ear plugs when I am walking around campus so I don’t hear people loudly trying to intimidate each other by saying things like “I got 17 interviews from OCI and 2 big law offers” (literally just heard that a few seconds ago as I am typing this since I forgot to put earplugs in). This has significantly helped my mental health and I have been able to live an emotionally independent life, as in I can isolate myself from the stress and insecurities in my enviroment and remember why I wanted to do public sector, why I want to live a healthy life, why I am here, etc, instead of forgetting about it all and just going after prestige and pleasing people I did not even know a few years ago.
Health, Family, Dog, and Others
I was able to eat healthy, and bring food from home from Monday to Today, which means I was able to save money AND I was able to watch my calories, and make sure I remember to eat! i was also able to sleep a sufficient amount on all of the school nights. My dog threw up at 5:30 am last night and I was able to wake up and catch her puke before it gets on the bed. (ew) I am glad I do not need to wash the sheets and stayed alert dispite the whole dog throw up drama!
What are you proud of this week?
Good idea to use earplugs, some people are so obnoxious. Your poor dog! I hope he feels better soon, glad he didn’t get your bed!
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Thank you! Hahaha yes earplugs help like crazy
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