I realized that the point of this blog is suppose to be about recovering from C-PTSD, and me being a FRIENDLY neighborhood C-PTSD survivor. But I think I’ve been fixating on the C-PTSD part, and have not addressed neither the “friendly” nor the “survivor” part of this blog.
So to compensate my readers, and myself! I decided to share some of the things that kept me going this week.
I successfully baked my very first banana cake! It was pretty good. I used the Chocolate Covered Katie recipe, it was incredibly delicious. Instead of using one cup of agave, I used only a table spoon and two bananas. I have never been a fan of sickly sweet food, partially because I grew up in China and dessert shops often carried semi-sweet, or even bitter-sweet desserts! I was also never been able to find a whole bunch of sweet snacks around my house, since sweets are addicting, I am glad I was never fully on the sweets train!
Academics and Work
I was able to read for a whole bunch of (FIVE ON TOP OF AN EXTERNSHIP YICKS) law school classes on time, even though that meant I had less than 2 hours to relax every day from Monday to Wednesday. I was able to stay attentive in class for my first week of the law school semester and I was able to take really good notes. I just started my new court house externship, and I have been losing it! I love my team, and after working with horrible abusive people for all of last semester, where one of the law clerks yelled at me and made a ton of body-shaming comments and consistently put me down, I am finaly at a place where I feel like people want me to grow, and are kind enough to let me fail and provide constructive, instead of destructive, criticism. I also enjoyed my assignment in juvenielle law and was able to quickly complete them and receive positive feedback.
Emotional Distance in Law School
I was also able to wear ear plugs when I am walking around campus so I don’t hear people loudly trying to intimidate each other by saying things like “I got 17 interviews from OCI and 2 big law offers” (literally just heard that a few seconds ago as I am typing this since I forgot to put earplugs in). This has significantly helped my mental health and I have been able to live an emotionally independent life, as in I can isolate myself from the stress and insecurities in my enviroment and remember why I wanted to do public sector, why I want to live a healthy life, why I am here, etc, instead of forgetting about it all and just going after prestige and pleasing people I did not even know a few years ago.
Health, Family, Dog, and Others
I was able to eat healthy, and bring food from home from Monday to Today, which means I was able to save money AND I was able to watch my calories, and make sure I remember to eat! i was also able to sleep a sufficient amount on all of the school nights. My dog threw up at 5:30 am last night and I was able to wake up and catch her puke before it gets on the bed. (ew) I am glad I do not need to wash the sheets and stayed alert dispite the whole dog throw up drama!
What are you proud of this week?