A diamond is not my best friend. Does that make me less of a girl?

So this girl finally got her e-ring that she waited for forever. When I got married, I purchased a 50 dollar white sapphire silver ring. It was amazing, but it didn’t fit my warm skin tone. So two years later (a few days ago), I received this baby.

It’s a moissy with 10K yellow gold!!! I love how 10k golds look. I’ve been staring at my ring like a bird that collects shinny things for the past couple of days.

I’m the type of person who just can’t shut up about getting a good deal. My friends and I agree that in most cases, I only talk about money is when I a) complain something is too expensive or b) excited about something being cheap. But I’m trying to be more private and act more like a healthy individual who has boundaries and values privacy, so my challenge for the next year is to not tell people how incredibly of a deal I got on my adult, very serious engagement ring.

Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels

I always tell everyone everything because I want to be transparent and I want to show the world that I’m a free thinker! Nobody can hurt my self-esteem! Others’ judgements don’t define who I am! also let me give away my financial privacy to let the world know everyone (around me not everyone in this galaxy), not just me, could afford all the good and beautiful things in life! But in the end of the day, even though I’m not someone who will be like are they judging me for not wearing a diamond as I’m not a diamond girl nor would I ever be one, I’m someone who would mention my couch is 70 dollars and then get secretly stressed about people thinking I’m a cheap woman that attaches no sentimental value to things. As in she doesn’t even want a diamond when a diamond is a girl’s best friend. AKA, she’s not a real girl.

I’ve always been insecure about not feeling like a real girl. I wash my hair once per day, and I always wear makeup. But I’ve always felt like gender is a continuum and I’m definitely less girly than I wanted to be. It doesn’t help that I define “girl” in a very stereotypical, single-dimensional ways deep-down. (Trying to change that) It took me years to figure out: I identify as female so I AM A GIRL. I define the word “girl” in my own way, so why does wanting a silver ring and some rubber bands instead of diamonds when I got married make me less of a girl? Or maybe I’m it’s concerned about not being a more stereotypical western girl with a Pinterest board full of rings? But seriously! Not that every western girl has that either.

As a first-and-a-half generation immigrant. I’m proud of my frugality, and I really don’t think I’m ashamed about it. But sometimes, there’s a little voice that says, damn Justine, you’re doing that thing that nobody appreciates here in America again.

There’s no deeper message in this article. That’s it. I am cheap and I’m happy. Im uncomfortable about being intentionally cheap in a country that frugality isn’t valued very much and everything is wrapped in at least four layers of plastic. The conformist in me is constantly battling the revolutionary warrior in me.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Sending you all my love!

– Justine


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